What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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