I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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