I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
