take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
