she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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