Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
