Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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