so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
