I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
