thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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