Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
