No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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