So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
