I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
