with your own penis?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
