Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
