oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize