You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
