I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
