But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
