I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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