My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
