found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize