It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
