I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
