I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize