you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
