I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
