just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
