We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Green mimosas i think yes
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
