dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i've created a new STD.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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