We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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