So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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