If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
