Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
