I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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