Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
