K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
