My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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