YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize