A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
