she woke up with a sticky ear
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize