butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
