I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize