I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We're too hungover to prance.
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