Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
