She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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