you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
