OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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