Pants 0. Shit 1.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
