Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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