...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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