yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
