I'm lost and stupid without you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
