grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
